Y’ALLLLL…it’s ALMOST that time again. The time for 24 HOUR HOLIDAY MOVIES.
While I always start out every Holiday Movie Watching Season with Good Intentions, 2020 is a time for honesty, and the honest truth is that I won’t be watching all 40 (!!) Hallmark Channel and Hallmark Movies & Mystery Channel Movies this year. I’d like to, but I also like to just sit and stare at the wall, because ::looks around:: 2020. So, because of this, I will need to plan accordingly, aka go through the list of this year’s offerings and pre-judge them to see which ones will make the cut.
Out of the 23 that will be on the Hallmark Channel, 17 have caught my attention for various reasons. I’ve divided them into four groups:
ALL CAPS SHOUTING IS REQUIRED – for those that are in my Top Tier, Can’t-Miss
HI. YES, PLEASE – are for the movies that sound rad and I Will Do My Best to Watch Them
I’m Sorry, What? – these are this year’s lol, what is happening selections
Uh, I Have Questions – for those offerings that I really need more information on
In case you aren’t already a fan of these movies and you are like, WUT, you can find a full line-up on the Hallmark Channel website.
ALL CAPS SHOUTING IS REQUIRED.
This is my Top Tier, aka I YELLED at the following casting announcements– y’allllll. I have MISSED THESE FACES SO MUCH AND YESSSS I’M STILL SHOUTING.
Christmas With the Darlings – October 25th
Summary: Just before the holidays Jessica Lew (Law) is ending her tenure as the assistant to her wealthy boss to use her recently earned law degree within his company, but offers to help his charming, younger brother (Marks) as he looks after his orphaned nieces and nephew over Christmas.
THERE’S NOTHING ELSE TO SAY EXCEPT KATRINA LAW.
If I Only Had Christmas – November 29th
Summary: At Christmas, a cheerful publicist (Bure) teams up with a cynical business owner (Christie) and his team to help a charity in need.
I know people are all yay! another CCB movie but uh, all I could see was that WARREN CHRISTIE IS BACK.
A Christmas Carousel – December 19th
Summary: When Lila (Boston) is hired by the Royal Family of Marcadia to repair a carousel, she must work with the Prince (Bledsoe) to complete it by Christmas.
MY CHRISTMAS WISH HAS COME TRUE AND NEAL BLEDSOE IS FINALLY IN ANOTHER HALLMARK MOVIE. AHHHHHHHH.
HI. YES, PLEASE.
Next up are those that while they didn’t have me SHOUTING, they will warrant a spot in my planner IN PEN, aka DON’T CHANGE THE SCHEDULE EVERY FIVE MINUTES HALLMARK.
Chateau Christmas – October 25th
Summary: Margot (Patterson), a world-renowned pianist, returns to Chateau Newhaus to spend the holidays with her family and is reunited with an ex (Macfarlane) who helps her rediscover her passion for music.
I don’t care what this is actually about. It has Luke Macfarlane in it. I will be watching.
On the 12th Date of Christmas – November 1st
Summary: Two seemingly incompatible game designers team up to create a romantic, city-wide scavenger hunt themed for The 12 Days of Christmas.
This has Tyler Hynes. With a beard. In various sweaters. Doing date-like things. Hallmark knows their demographic well.
Never Kiss a Man in a Christmas Sweater – November 7th
Summary: Single mom Maggie (Williams) is facing Christmas alone until Lucas (Matter) crashes into her life and becomes an unexpected houseguest. Together they overcome Christmas while finding comfort in their growing bond.
I have no idea what the summary actually says because I stopped reading after the title.
I will watch this no matter what.
Christmas House – November 22nd
Summary: Working through some difficult decisions, Wade family matriarch Phylis (Lawrence) and patriarch Bill (Williams), have summoned their two grown sons — TV star Mike Wade (Buckley) and Brandon Wade (Bennett) — home for the holidays. It is their hope that bringing the family together to recreate the Christmas house will help them find resolution and make a memorable holiday for the entire family and community. As Brandon and his husband Jake (Harder) make the trip home, they are anxiously awaiting a call about the adoption of their first child. Meanwhile, Mike reconnects with Andi (Ayora), his high school sweetheart.
LBGTQ representation is happening during the Christmas Movie Season and I am BESIDE MYSELF WITH JOY.
A Christmas Tree Grows in Colorado – November 24th
Summary: Erin (Aytes) is planning the town’s Christmas celebration and must win over firefighter Kevin (Taylor) in order to obtain the beautiful spruce tree from his property for the celebration.
Mark Taylor as a fire fighter. Send tweet.
Five Star Christmas – November 26th
Summary: After moving back to her hometown, Lisa (Lenz) plots with her siblings and grandparents to help her father’s new bed and breakfast get a five-star review from an incognito travel critic (Webster), but ends up falling for him, not knowing he is the real critic.
A. I love Bethany Joy Lenz. B. Her character’s name is LISA. C. Secret Identities are my 3rd favorite romance trope.
GIVE THIS TO ME NOW.
Christmas by Starlight – November 27th
Summary: Annie (Sustad), a lawyer, must help her loved ones this holiday season. Her family’s restaurant, the Starlight Café, is slated for demolition. The heir to the development firm responsible, William (Campbell), makes her an unlikely proposition: He’ll spare the café if Annie spends the week ‘appearing’ as the legal counsel his father is demanding he hire in the wake of some costly mistakes.
Listen, if I could only watch ONE Hallmark movie this season, it would be this one. I live for this Kimberley Sustad and Paul Campbell pairing.
Christmas Comes Twice – December 13th
Summary: Emily (Mowry-Housley) is a top newscaster who has achieved her career dreams but still has regrets about the guy (Xavier) who got away five years earlier. When the Christmas carnival comes to town, a ride around the carousel takes her magically back in time to the carnival five years before… giving her a second chance at love before she must return to Christmas present.
It’s the Hallmark version of Big and I am READY.
GAH. I LOVE Christmas Magic.
I’m Sorry, What?
These three movies are scoring HIGH on the ridiculous factor so it’s all really a toss up.
One Royal Holiday – November 1st
Summary: When Anna (Osnes) offers a stranded mother (Clark) and son (Tveit) shelter in a blizzard, she learns that they are the Royal Family of Galwick. Anna shows the Prince how they do Christmas in her hometown, encouraging him to open his heart and be true to himself.
Stranded royalty + a sleep over = me, excited for this nonsense.
Will this one be this year’s Snow Maze??
A Nashville Christmas Carol – November 21st
Summary: Vivienne Wake (Schram), a workaholic television producer in charge of a country music Christmas special showcasing newcomer Alexis (Raelynn), never lets personal feelings get in the way of business. On the verge of accepting a job in L.A., and with the return of Gavin Chase (Brown) — her childhood sweetheart and manager to the special’s headliner, Belinda (Evans) — she receives a visit from the ghost of her recently deceased mentor, Marilyn (Judd). Her mentor warns her current path leads to a dark future and has recruited both the Spirit of Christmas Past (Brooks) and the Spirit of Christmas Present (Williams-Paisley) to help her get back on track. The Spirits’ time-jumping adventures force Vivienne to take hold of her life.
There’s, uh, a lot going on here, but the main thing is Wynonna Judd IS A GHOST IN THIS.
I can’t WAIT.
Christmas Waltz – November 28th
Summary: After Avery’s (Chabert) storybook Christmas wedding is canceled unexpectedly, dance instructor Roman (Kemp) helps her rebuild her dreams.
A jilted woman learns to love again through a hot dance instructor. This will no doubt be silly and incredibly cheesy.
I WILL LOVE THIS MOVIE.
Uh, I Have Questions
And finally, we come to the last group– the “yeah, imma need more info on these movies before I can appropriately pre-judge them” group.
Christmas in Evergreen: Bells are Ringing – December 5th
Summary: As Michelle’s (Peete) wedding approaches, Hannah (Bernard) steps up to help finish the launch of the new Evergreen museum while questioning her relationship and future with Elliot (Cayonne).
This had better be about Michelle’s wedding and/or Hannah and not about everyone else in the town with five minutes of Michelle and Hannah. I’m ready to side-eye the crap out of this movie if we don’t get their stories.
Christmas She Wrote – December 6th
Summary: When Kayleigh (McKellar), a romance writer, has her column canceled right before Christmas, she heads home to reconnect with her family. Kayleigh gets an unexpected visit from the man (Neal) who canceled her column who fights not only to bring her back to the publisher but also for her heart.
I have no questions here. I just need to note that this is NOT a Murder, She Wrote Christmas inspired movie and my disappointment is REAL. What a waste of a title.
Love, Lights, Hanukkah – December 20th
Summary: As Christina (Kirshner) prepares her restaurant for its busiest time of year, she gets back a DNA test revealing that she’s Jewish. The discovery leads her to a new family and an unlikely romance over eight nights.
::stares in Holiday Date::
What could go wrong??
Which Hallmark Channel movies are you looking forward to this year?